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IT'S OKAY APOLLO by Hapo57 IT'S OKAY APOLLO by Hapo57
WHEN PEOPLE SEE ME THEY RUN AWAY AND PRETEND TO BE TREES TOO.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY. I DON'T GIVE A DAMN IF YOU LOVE IT OR HATE IT OR ARE COMPLETELY INDIFFERENT. I DREW THIS PICTURE FOR YOU SO YOU SHOULD ENJOY IT.

Coincidentally in my Mythology class today, we started talking about the many failed loves of Apollo. He's the prettiest and most talented and poetic god around, but he has a serious problem with women. His poetry just fails when he's in love.

Apollo: Hi there female would you like the gift of prophecy in exchange for physical intimacy?
Cassandra: Oh sure.
Apollo: Oh yay here you go you can see the future now.
Cassandra: Sweet! BTW I promised to be chaste forever.
Apollo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Apollo: Hi there female i can has a certain... um, favour?
Sybil: Okay give me as many birthdays as there are grains of sand in my hand.
Apollo: Sweet, done.
Sybil: Ack I hate this I'mma get old
Apollo: Ew, old. I can give you youth too if you surrender your virginity-
Sybil: Like hell. *turns into a cicada*
Apollo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Apollo: hey there female you are smokin'-
Idas: Back off dude she's mine
Marpessa: oh no a love triangle!
Zeus: CHOOSE THE ONE YOU LOVE MORE.
Marpessa: HMMM AN IMMORTAL TALENTED HANDSOME GOD OR A MORTAL WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE AN ARGONAUT
Apollo: aw yeah I so got this
Marpessa: I CHOOSE THE SILLY MORTAL. WE CAN GROW OLD TOGETHER AND HE WON'T ABANDON ME.
Apollo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

And it's not like Apollo didn't try it with men too

Apollo: hey Hyacinthus let's throw the discus around <3
Hyacinthus: Okay
Apollo: *accidentally smacks him in the face with a discus*
Hyacinthus: AGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH
Apollo: WAIT I CAN TURN YOUR BLOOD INTO FLOWERS
Hyacinthus: *dies*
Apollo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

This particular story is the first and probably the most famous, and it goes something like this

Eros: *starts drawing an arrow*
Apollo: Dude, don't even try. I am the master archer. The bow just looks stupid in your hands.
Eros: Dude back off I am going to shoot you
Apollo: You couldn't hit the ground if you were aiming at it.
Eros: *turns to shoot Daphne*
Apollo: That's right you're totally not man enough
Eros: *shoots Apollo and Daphne in the chest*
Apollo: I AM SUDDENLY OVERCOME WITH AFFECTION FOR YOU DAPHNE
Daphne: HAGHESIGENJSKIG *runs away*
Apollo: YOU CAN'T OUT RUN ME I AM A GOD
Daphne: OH DAMN DAD DO SOMETHING *gets turned into a tree*
Apollo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

In this picture Apollo's putting Ovid's Metamorphoses to emo music while Daphne is thinking "MAYBE IF I PRETEND TO BE A TREE FOR A BIT LONGER HE'LL GO AWAY."

So whether you love or hate valentines day, I hope the sad stories of Apollo cheer you up somehow.

THIS WILL PROBABLY BE SCRAPPED. I WAS SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING WORKING HARD ON IT BUT I WAS LIKE NO I'M TIRED AND I'M NOT GOING TO WASTE THE EFFORT FOR A HOLIDAY I DIDN'T EVEN GET CHOCOLATE FOR.
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:iconladyblackbird13:
ladyblackbird13 Featured By Owner May 5, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Poor Apollon. *opens arms* Need a hug?
Reply
:iconladyblackbird13:
ladyblackbird13 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconimhighplz:
Reply
:iconarthuriglesias:
ArthurIglesias Featured By Owner May 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
One of my favourite myths! Love how Daphne's face is all, 'oh shit I still have to be with him forever.'

Also, your description box
:iconimhighplz: ~ :heart:
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:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner May 21, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:bow: Thank you, thank you.
Reply
:iconcarebearcountdownxd:
CarebearcountdownxD Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
* snuggles Apollo * It's okay my dear, I'm here for you : )
Reply
:iconloneseagull333:
LoneSeagull333 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
Ah, that is perhaps the most beautiful description of Apollo's love life I have ever heard, you are amazing.
Reply
:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:bow: Thank you, thank you. XD I try. XDD

Thanks so much for the watch, by the way! I really appreciate it! :blush:
Reply
:iconloneseagull333:
LoneSeagull333 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
no problem, you're amazing :D and plus I'm on my first year in classical studies this year so yes. indeed.
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:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:blush: Aww, thanks! I'm flattered! ;w;

:highfive: Sweet! I've been taking a lot of Classics classes, but I'm still deciding whether I should major in it or not... hmmm...
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:iconloneseagull333:
LoneSeagull333 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
DO IT :D, then teach me all you know xP
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:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Haha, thanks for your encouragement. >w< I'm still trying to decide between Classics, History, Art History, Linguistics, or Classical Language (I'm taking Ancient Greek right now @_@). It'll be tough, but I hope I can choose soon ;w;
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:iconloneseagull333:
LoneSeagull333 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
Mother god O.O you have such amazing subjects, wait, are you in university?
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:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yes, I'm in my second year. XD;; I started making comics about ancients last year when I took my first classics class. It reawakened my younger self in a way, hahaha.
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(1 Reply)
:iconcherry-antoinette:
Cherry-Antoinette Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2012
:iconforeveraloneplz:
Lol, poor Apollo never gets a break. XD
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:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
He is indeed the epitome of forever alone. ;w;
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:iconquatschmachen:
Quatschmachen Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011
Thanks for not making Eros a fat toddler ;^;
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:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yeeeahhh don't worry I don't plan on ever doing that unless I feel the need to make fun of it. :3
Reply
:iconquatschmachen:
Quatschmachen Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011
Each day Eros cries.
Reply
:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
He cries because he's been reduced to a flying baby but the one person who draws him not that way is immune to his charms. Aww.
Reply
:iconquatschmachen:
Quatschmachen Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2011
Poor Eros
Reply
:iconbaeacnkgi:
Baeacnkgi Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
THIS. :heart:
it's so sweet! ;^;
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:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Aww, thank you! >w< And thanks for the fave as well! :D
Reply
:iconshaun-i:
Shaun-i Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2011
Oh my God, this is hilarous !! Poor Daphne, I feel sorry for her !
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:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you! And thanks for the fave! :D
To be fair, she was under the influence of one of Cupid's lead arrows and wasn't quite thinking straight, but alas... XD
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:iconshouji-kun:
shouji-kun Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2011
Haha I love this, so sad though nobody wants Apollo..
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:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks a lot! I keep thinking about making comics about Apollo's misadventures. ;w;
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:iconshouji-kun:
shouji-kun Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2011
Awesome! You should totally tell me when you start it!
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:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hahha, will do! I'm on vacation in London right now; this morning I went to the British museum and saw TONS of statues of him, so I'm excited to start drawing him more. XD
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:iconshouji-kun:
shouji-kun Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2011
Awesome!
Reply
:icon123lealea:
123lealea Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2011
Not to mention Koronis!

Apollo: ILU Koronis!
Koronis: Yeah, whatevas. *Bangs*
Random Crow: BTW Apollo, Koronis is cheating on you.
Apollo: WHAT? :iconfrageplz:
Koronis: Oh fu-
Apollo: *shoots her* HO-BAG!
Koronis: *dying* BTW Apollo, I'm preggers with your kid. *gives birth while in horrible pain*
Apollo: NUU DON'T DIE, I FORGIVE YOU!
Koronis: *dies* X_X
Apollo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Oh Apollo, you poor lovestruck fool. You're so much fun~<3
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:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Aw yeah. But afterwards didn't go much better either.

Apollo: HAY CHIRON I TOTALLY RESCUED MY UNBORN FETUS BUT UH I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT HERE YOU'RE THE ONLY TRUSTWORTHY CENTAUR EVER
Chiron: Okay wait what where are you going-
Apollo: I'M GOING TO GO LOCK MYSELF IN MY ROOM AND PLAY SAD MUSIC FOREVER. ALSO HIS NAME IS ASCLEPIUS.
Chiron: ...Okay.

LATER

Asclepius: I LIKE HELPING PEOPLE
Apollo: GOOD JOB SON I AM SO PROUD
Asclepius: I AM SO GOOD AT HELPING PEOPLE I CAN BRING PEOPLE BACK FROM THE DEAD.
Apollo: AW YEAH THAT'S MY BOY-
Asclepius: AND GET PAYED FOR IT
Apollo: WAIT ISN'T THERE SOMETHING MORALLY WRONG WITH THAT
Zeus: YES THERE IS, DIE. *zaps*
Apollo: NOOOOOOOOOO WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO EVERYONE I LOVE

And then there are some who say Apollo was the father of Orpheus... and we all know how that ended... >_>;

Thanks for the entertaining comment and the fave. X3
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:icon123lealea:
123lealea Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2011
And not to mention his own Twin hates him because of the Orion incident lol.

Apollo: HEY ARTEMIS WANNA SHOOT STUFF?
Artemis: CAN'T BRO, GOTTA HOT DATE WITH DIS GIANT
Apollo: WAIT, WHAT? I THOUGHT YOU WERE A VIRGIN?
Artemis: NOT ANYMORE
Orion: HEY BABE!
Artemis: OH HAI DERE SEXY!
Orion: READY FOR OUR DATE?
Artemis: KAY! *leaves*
Apollo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW MY SISTER LEAVES ME TOO! I WON'T STAND FOR IT!

LATER

Orion: *is running on water like he's motherf**king Jesus from far, far, far away*
Apollo: I HAS A PLAN!
Artemis: WHERE'S MY ORI-CAKES?
Apollo: DUNNO, BUT I BET YOU CAN'T HIT THAT SPECK WITH YOUR ARROW, CAUSE YOU SUCK LIKE THAT
Artemis: CAN TOO! *shots, hits* HAH!
Orion: *floats to shore* X____X
Artemis: ORI-CAKES! NOOOOOOOOOO! *sob*
Apollo: LAWL, WANNA HUNT WITH ME NOW?
Artemis: I HATE YOU APOLLO! I'MMA HUNT WITH MY NYMPHS AND BECOME A TOTAL MAN-HATING DYKE
Apollo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *Forever alone*

But strangely enough, I love Apollo very much. XD
No problem, it was a funny image!
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:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Now this story of Orion I am unaware of. XDD

Everyone loves Apollo.
Just not enough in that way... XD;

Then again, I can think of one story that has a happy ending...

Apollo: HE STOLE MY COWS.
Hermes: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT COWS ARE I WAS JUST BORN THE OTHER DAY. ;A;
Zeus: Okay you crazy kids. Hermes, give Apollo back his cows.
Hermes: 'KAY. LET'S BE BFFS OKAY?
Apollo: NEVERRRRRRRRRRR
Hermes: Pleeeeeeeeease? *plucks lyre string*
Apollo: :iconiloveyouplz: k
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:icon123lealea:
123lealea Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2011
And they say Apollo loved all nine of the muses, but Zeus didn't like (Or was jealous) the idea of him marrying all nine of them, so Apollo chose to remain unwedded. Oh boy, lucky fella.

Apollo: BAWWWW NO ONE LOVES ME ;_;
Muses: WE LOVE YOU APOLLO! *group hug*
Apollo: Rly? :iconiloveyouplz:
Zeus: HEY! NO POLYGAMY MARRIAGES! IF I CAN'T HAVE EM THEN YOU CAN'T!
Apollo: WOE IS MEEEEEEEEE

And then they said this poet named Sappho became the 10th muse, and she was a lesbian... so its likely she converted them, sorry Apollo.

No love for you.
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:iconintenselove:
intenselove Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2011  Student
huhuhuhuhuhh *nerd laughs* awesome i love apollo too bad he had the worst luck with the ladies and men
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:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Haha, thanks.
Well, at least he had Asclepius. Oh, wait...
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:iconintenselove:
intenselove Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2011  Student
another failed love of apollo. oh dear poor gut can't get thing to love him
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:iconapolloluvsu:
apolloluvsu Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2011
MAN this cracked me up! :D
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:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm glad it did, hahahaha!
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:iconapolloluvsu:
apolloluvsu Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2011
I like JUST noticed the tree was Daphne and now I feel really stupid xD
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:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Don't worry about it, I forget she's there sometimes too, and I drew her! XD
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:iconquatschmachen:
Quatschmachen Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2011
I LOVE THIS!! IT'S SO SHINAZZLEY, AND THE COMMENTARY? FABULOUS.
Reply
:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
HOORAY I AM GLAD IT HAS APPEASED YOU. :D
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:iconpelusoart:
pelusoart Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2011
Am I horrible for feeling worse for Daphne in this picture than Apollo?
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:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Definitely not. That's the impression I got after I drew her face. XD
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:iconkiotona:
Kiotona Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2011
I LOVE THIS! POOR APOLLO!! ;A;
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:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
THIS PLEASES ME.
Oh well, he's still got the nine muses and his twin sister to complain to about it afterwards. XD
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:iconportabelloon:
portabelloon Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2011
That is an excellent summary and is even funnier at past one in the morning and I'm trying not to wake my roommate and lolwhat Apollo I love you, you fail at love forever.
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:iconhapo57:
Hapo57 Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
WHAT ARE YOU DOING AWAKE AT THIS UNGODLY HOUR ANYWAY.
I mean I have classes half an hour later on Tuesdays so I get to sleep in but THIS
THIS IS MADNESS.

STOP LAUGHING AND GO TO SLEEP NOW. D:
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:iconportabelloon:
portabelloon Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2011
I'M.....uh. I dunno man. I'm responding to messages on my devart?
THIS IS FLORIDA. OR ALBERTA. YAY. I DUNNO ANY MORE MY BRAIN HAS DIED.

IN A MINUTE. D:
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